It's been said that everybody's got that one friend.

It's also been said that if you look at your social circle, and you can't think of who that one friend is, there's a very good chance that one friend is you.

And if that one friend is you? Be fucking PROUD.

It is a scientific rule of the universe that anyone attempting to claim the title of ( Read more... )

Dear Mike Pence ( Read more... )

When I was a wee lass (read: teenage troublemaker), I lived in a yuppy suburban hellpit of a neighborhood. The natural fauna were pretty damn horrifying in their own right - if you've ever been to a Texas suburb and\or seen an episode of King of the Hill, you know what kind of humanoid creatures I'm talking about - vicious, feral, and not very ( Read more... )

Sagayán, is it? So you want a war dance, then? MY PLEASURE ( Read more... )

One day the gods were sitting in a dusty saloon on the wild western outskirts of Mt. Olympus (C'mon, you'd get tired of all those prissy hipster bars serving nectar and ambrosia too). Naturally, Dionysis was tending bar. Apollo had somehow rigged a keyboard into his lyre and was playing a bouncy tune while the nine muses took turns dancing on the ( Read more... )

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Ah, for the days of the simple "404 Webpage not found" error message. But no more! Or more accurately - it's just not that simple anymore. Behold the wonders of today's Information Superhighway, where half the people drive like grandmas, half the people drive with two lead feet, and everyone drives like the whole thing's some cracked out hybrid of ( Read more... )

I live in a high rise downtown apartment building full of wannabe fancy-ass lofts and wannabe fancy-ass people ( Read more... )

petaQ: Klingon word that more or less translates to "dishonorable dipshit." It can also imply "idiotic dipshit", "annoying dipshit", or any other species or variety of dipshit that floats your boat. Or sinks it.

PetaQ is often used by Klingons in the Star Trek universe to express displeasure or annoyance with fellow Klingons or other humanoid ( Read more... )

I've always been way more of a Halloween person than a Christmas person. I mean, it just makes sense. Halloween is all about acting ridiculous, begging for candy, and running around town dressed like an idiot while scaring the crap out of people. It's the one day of the year where my usual behavior patterns are not only accepted but celebrated ( Read more... )